Patience, young Jedi

Oh My Gosh! Today is one of those days! I am irritated at everything! It feels like my son is yelling every word that comes out of his mouth! My daughter has a fever that came out of nowhere! I know she isn’t but as a Combat medic it feels like my wife is freaking out over it. I know it’s her little girl, and she is the youngest of our children and the last one we are going to have. It’s hard to watch anyone’s reaction to an illness or injury after having been in combat and treating traumas from IED’s and bullets. 

 Patience young Jedi! But I think that’s the problem! We need more than patience. We need understanding to go along with it! I can be patient all day about what someone is going through, but if I don’t have an understanding or empathetic heart about it I’m just going to get ticked off! Look, our family members don’t understand and how can we expect them to understand the difference in the way we process it as opposed to how they do? We’ve seen limbs removed and gaping holes. They have seen small cuts animal bites and fevers or lost teeth.  Because of our experience we have become desensitized to illness and injury! Our fight or flight response to it is minimized. Now, if we were in a car accident and someone was bleeding we would probably go into action like a snake coiled to strike.

Take a step back, breath; look at it from your spouses or child’s perspective. It may be a small deal to us but to them it’s a big one! Sure no one’s life may be at risk or dwindling, so what. They are allowed to feel like the world is coming to an end over the situation, they haven’t been desensitized due to exposure. And to be honest I would give everything have to be that way again. Cherish the fact that they haven’t had to do what we have and that this is all still so important to them. 

I wish I could still get empathetic over a skinned knee or small fever. At times I feel like a heartless jerk because of it. Watching my wife get upset over our daughter having a fever and I just can’t comprehend anymore why she’s so upset.  But now I need to start allowing her to get upset and just comfort her in this area. Yeah, I can and will just remain calm but I need to channel the temper over her reaction and be thankful that she is so caring and loving over me and our kids! 

Thanks for reading and God bless!
Ralph “Malachias” Gaskin

Hello everyone

I’m SGT Ralph “Malachias” Gaskin, currently serving and waiting for my retirement. I have been dealing with PTSD for five years now and have deployed twice to Iraq. I spent nine years in the Indiana Army National Guard, took a three year break in service and have been on Active duty since April of 2006. I spent nine years in the Infantry and the rest as a Combat medic. I was blessed on my second deployment to Iraq to be part of an Army Rock and country band playing music for my brothers and sisters in arms.

I started looking into alternative methods of therapy for PTSD and found a few things that have worked for me. Organic Gardening, Music and growing deeper in my personal faith. I am excited to have the chance to blog for Not Alone, and hope that through my musings and writings I can help at least one person. I co-authored “Traitmarker for PTSD” with Robbie Grayson earlier this year and hope to release my first solo book before thanksgiving called “A warriors garden”. Gardening and music is where my heart has led me too. I hope by sharing my thoughts with all of you that it might inspire you to take an active lead in your own personal healing.